Step 3

The next step is tricky to explain and may take a while for you to complete. The first part of this step is to look at the items you wrote down in step 2 and for each statement imagine yourself doing the opposite of what you wrote. As you imagine doing the opposite notice the most uncomfortable or worrisome or scary feelings that comes up for you.

For example if you wrote “I am not taking time to think of what I really want”, then you imagine doing the opposite, i.e. you imagine taking the time to figure out what you really want. As you imagine this notice your reactions – things like “I’ll take too long” or “What I want might be unacceptable” and so on.

In considering doing the opposite of the items you wrote in step 2 you have to get to a place where you feel yourself at risk in some way. Most people are a bit embarrassed by what they uncover – it has a cringe element.For this step to work really well you have to reach some kind of fear. If you haven’t yet found a fear then you might ask yourself “and what would be the worst thing about this for me?”

Typical issues that come up for people in this step are fears of looking stupid, of being out of control, of being humiliated, not wanting to fail or being helpless and so on. You need to identify one such fear or worry with each of the statements you wrote down in step 2.

Write down the fears that you discover for each of the statements in step 2.

Next (Step 4)

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