The final step in unwinding a crisis involves ‘getting back together’ as a couple. There are many different ways of achieving this. If you haven’t yet tried it use the Relating Dyad. You might also like to try the Joint Reality process, using ecstasy. Here is an account of how this helped one couple in difficulties (there are other examples on the same site).
However any process in which you can spend a good chunk of quality time alone together without fighting will work wonders. Give each other a massage, have delightful sex, go to a favourite restaurant – give yourselves a reward for having come through a really difficult time. And remember what worked best so when the shit next hits the fan you have a tool kit that you can use that works for you both.
We have found that the more wins you have the easier it is the next time.